Maggie Rogers "Feral Joy" Tour with Del Water Gap at The Factory (Dallas)

 February 26th, 2023

    This concert was so highly anticipated for me that I was woozy with excitement for weeks on end beforehand. I have previously seen both Maggie Rogers and Del Water Gap in concert, but seeing them together was a combination so perfect it felt like I dreamt the lineup.

    I began listening to Maggie Rogers in the later half of 2019 because my mom sent me her debut album, Heard it in a Past Life, and I admittedly put off really listening to her until the day we saw her in concert. Coincidentally, that show was also at The Factory in Deep Ellum, back when it was still called "The Bomb Factory" (which I still slip into conversations because I don't think they should have changed the name of the venue, but that is a conversation for another time). I stood on a couch (that is no longer there) against the back wall of the venue, behind the sound and light booth, with my mother and my youngest sister. I was 18 at the time and had just begun my first semester of my freshman year of college, beginning my educational journey to be a teacher who liked to write a little on the side, because at the time, I did not think it was reasonable to consider writing as a career. I inevitably fell in love with Maggie Rogers after seeing her live, (which does happen to me relatively often), and I went home to invest my time in really listening to more of her music. Her voice and stage presence drew me in, but the lyricism in her songwriting is what made her one of my top-streamed artists. I remember excitedly sharing the news about Rogers release of her archives from her college years on an album during the pandemic, and I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the first time I listened to it all the way through. I was fascinated by how strong her way with words was, even from the very start, and she remains one of my biggest inspirations as a writer to this day. I found myself subscribing to her newsletter, wanting to see more of her mind, and I am a huge fan of the little letters and essays she sends out each time. As a writer, I love how she writes about her songwriting process, and I find myself rereading a lot of her letters because of her attention to detail. My favorite is still the letter reflecting back on "Anywhere With You," which is my favorite song on her latest album, Surrender. The whole essay is worth reading for many different reasons, but the line that really stuck with me was about how she viewed herself as "a writer that could sing" instead of simply seeing herself as a "singer." I found this to be compelling and it is something I tend to circle back to pretty frequently, as I never quite labeled myself as a "writer" until about six months ago. I always viewed myself from a much different perspective, thinking I was just a person who enjoyed writing, or a person who spent a lot of time thinking about writing, and it was not until I really began my final wave of classes that I began to see myself as a writer.

I am now 22, a few months short of graduating with a degree in creative writing, all because I found the inspiration I needed to pursue my true dreams for my education and career. Maggie Rogers remains one of my biggest inspirations through this process, especially after her recent graduation from Harvard with a masters in religion and public life. I found the motivation I needed to follow my heart to writing through many different outlets, but I will always owe a load of that credit to Maggie Rogers because of the way she continued steadily as a student while staying consistent as a singer and songwriter. Her music alone has had a world of an impact on me, but her way of living and viewing her life instilled the right kind of magic in me to get me where I am. 

    So as you may imagine, this concert was a dream for me. I did purchase a fast lane pass through the venue so I could be the first to be let inside the venue. Being up-close at concerts is almost always something very important to me, especially because I stand at the very tall height of approximately 5 foot 4 with my platform converse on, so my sister and I planned to meet up with friends at the venue the morning of the show. There were not a whole lot of fast-pass-purchasers for the show, so my older sister who arrived right before the doors opened was able to come join us (a row behind) when she was let inside the venue. The barricade at The Factory is pretty long, so even the people who were pretty far behind us in line were able to be front row. I saw a lot of friends and the familiar faces of people I've been squashed next to at past shows, so I enjoyed that aspect of the concert as well. I did manage to be front row, which was my goal from the moment tickets went on sale, and I took a few-too-many pictures and videos of Maggie's incredible set design and of her striking outfit on stage as well. Her show was amazing from start to finish, I found myself teared up and starstruck through even some of her most upbeat, fun songs. I know she rotates her setlist a little each night, but her discography makes it impossible for me to be disappointed with any songs she chose to swap out. She played "Say It" from her first album as part of her encore, which I later found out reminds my mom of the early stages of her relationship with my dad, so I was incredibly satisfied with that song choice as well... even if she had to take "Falling Water" off to put "Say It" on. (RIP "Falling Water" though).

    Now onto Del Water Gap. If you know me personally, or know me much at all, you know he is one of my all-time favorite musicians. He was a very prominent part of my Spotify Wrapped for 2022, and I saw him open for Jeremy Zucker in late 2021 and attended his first headline show in Dallas in early 2022. I had the chance to meet him after both of those shows, and I can easily say he is one of the coolest people I have ever gotten the chance to speak to. I have several t-shirts of his, I have his debut album on vinyl, and I ordered his infamous "Horse with a Bowl Cut" crewneck immediately following this show. My dad once greeted me as "Del Water Drew" when he got home from work, and that has been my Instagram handle for my photo dump account ever since.

As many of his fans did, I discovered Holden through Maggie's

Notes from the Archive album released at the end of 2020. I remember road-tripping to see Phoebe Bridgers and Gracie Abrams in Austin (which was also incredible) in October of 2021 with "New Song" by Maggie Rogers and Del Water Gap playing in my headphones, and I vividly remember thinking, Oh, this guy is awesome. I looked him up just in time for the release of his debut album, and I have been a super-fan of his ever since. I always wish I had gotten into his music sooner. He also has an amazing way with words and many songs that pull my heart strings in peculiar ways, and his music has inspired a lot of my own writing. I am a big fan of listening to music as I write, especially because I draw so much of my own thoughts and ideas from the stories other writers have told in their songs, and Holden is one of the artists with music that really helped me to dig deeper and invest in characters I had not given much time or thought beforehand. I had fallen pretty far out of writing for fun when the pandemic hit, and it worsened when writing took over my schoolwork, too, but the timing of Holden's self-titled album Del Water Gap's release could not have been more perfect. The emotions and people he portrays in his songs were just what I needed, and I was able to get back to writing what I wanted to be writing, not what I thought others wanted me to write.

    So yes, I did have the time of my life at the concert. I screamed, I danced, I cried. Seeing "New Song" with two of my biggest inspirations standing right in front of me was nearly other-worldly, and I was glad to have friends and sister around me to share the moment with. I had an incredible time reuniting with older friends (most of which I had previously met at the last Del Water Gap show in Dallas), making a few new friends, and screaming and dancing like a crazy person on the barricade. My mother made a Facebook post the morning of the show, calling me out for my obsession with being in the front of all the crowds the same way my dad always does, and I saved it onto my phone. I think I am most myself when I am at a concert, able to enjoy the music in the raw, beautiful the way it was meant to be performed. All of my other anxieties and worries are put on hold for the day, and I am able to let go and be myself right where I stand.

    A lot of people do not understand what concerts mean to me. There are many people in my life who don't fully get it—they don't understand why I spend so much of my time, money, and energy on being so involved in the concert scene or why I feel I have to be so close for the show. I think the connection to the music is one of the biggest aspects of that, at least for me personally, but the safe space to put my life on hold is what really does it for me. I like having something to work towards, I like having something to be so excited about, and I feel the most connected to my true self when I am able to recognize that we are all a part of something bigger. Everyone in that room came together for the same reason, all dressed up or dressed down to see the same show, and there is something so special about moments like those that powers me through the rest of my life. But I get that concerts aren't everything to everyone, and I understand that some people don't like the sweat or the sore feet or the pushing or the waiting, but I hope this is a little way for some of those people to understand why I do it. It's all a matter of perspective and what your big picture of life tends to look like.

 So I suppose in a way I owe it all to my mom, because she was the one who led me down this rabbit hole of music. But I do owe a portion of it to my dad, for passing on his love for concerts and the general admission crowds, and I owe a lot of where I am right now as a writer to Maggie and Holden themselves. I don't know if many other shows will live up to the high that one put me on. It was easily one of the best concert experiences of my life. 

(There are more photos on my Instagram page, @_drewpayne!)