Boygenius at White Oak Music Hall in Houston and RE:SET in Dallas

June 8th, 2023

This show was supposed to be Boygenius headlining their own concert in Houston with Barteese Strange as the opener. My sisters have been anticipating this one together for about the past year. I have been a big Boygenius fan for several years now, and I was slowly able to gather up each of my sisters and get them as into the music as I am throughout the years. Bryna and I have seen Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus on their own headlining tours in the past (2021) together, and Elli, Bryna, and I have seen Phoebe Bridgers together twice, and I have seen her on my own (with a different friend) one other time as well. This "reunion" album was big news for me, and I was so excited to share the concert experience with my sisters now that they are all invested in the music with me. Addi and I went to a release party for the record a few months ago, and we all four sat down together and streamed it officially right when it dropped as well. So, long story short, these shows have been
a long time coming for me, and the sister bonding just made it all the more exciting.

We bought tickets to the Houston show without discussing it much beforehand. We just knew we wanted to see them as many times as possible, and hitting the two Texas stops was the simplest way to do that. Since the Dallas show was the next day, we decided to stick it out and go without a hotel room or any stops on our drives to and from Houston. We woke up early (too early. 5 a.m. kind of early) and drove straight to Houston the day of the show, arriving at the venue at around 10:45 a.m. after factoring in time for coffee breaks, bathroom breaks, and the nightmare that was attempting to park at this venue. They had the parking lots that were advertised for the venue all blocked off during the day, and they posted online that they were all "sold out," so the only option we would have was street parking. Even this early in the day, there was nowhere safe to leave our car. We circled around the neighborhood surrounding the venue for about 30 minutes before we came across a freshly opened lot that the venue had, which they charged $30 for, and we decided to just go ahead and change for the show right there so we wouldn't have to mess with trying to leave again later in the day. My friend Lilly had been there earlier in the day, and although she did text me a proper warning about how the staff handled the lines, I don't think anything could have prepared me for how they organized the lines.

We had to walk through the world's longest queue of winding barricades to get to the covered area where the existing line sat. Before we could enter this area that was still outside of the venue, the staff fully checked our bags and scanned our tickets for the show. I have never had a venue go through the items I brought to "camp" in line with, especially not so early in the day, so I thought that seemed a bit inefficient and odd right off the bat. However, I assumed they were just trying to be cautious, especially anticipating the crowd of a sold-out show. We were then ushered into tight lines between barricades, which I can best describe as a worse version of the experience of lining up for a rollercoaster at Six Flags. They gave us very little room to sit down between each line, but the people all around us were super friendly and filled us in on tidbits about the venue and the area since we were not local. This area was covered, so I think they were trying to squeeze as many people into the spot as possible before moving the front of the line out into the sun. Once we were settled, this portion of the day was pretty pleasant. Even when we were relocated into "chutes" (as the staff called them) in the sun, the venue medics provided sunscreen and water bottles for us, and there were vendors selling food and popsicles through the lines, which was nice. At this point in the day, they made everyone put all of their extra belongings back in their cars, so I was glad they supplied us with necessities since they had taken away our chance to utilize the things we brought.

About 30 minutes before doors were set to open, the venue staff rushed us into the gated area in order of the lines we had been queuing in all day, but they were pushing us into a storm shelter due to storm warnings and lightning strikes. They put us all in one large building on the venue's property because the concert was meant to happen outdoors. I understand the legalities of limiting/prohibiting outdoor activity due to lightning, but the way the venue handled the situation was (for lack of a gentler word) horrible. The staff told all of the people who had been so strictly kept in these odd, tight lines all day in the heat that none of our efforts were going to matter because they were going to open one single doorway when it came time to let people back outside, and it would be the one where the people at the very back of the line had been. We were stuck in the storm shelter with many panicked, tired, and hot Boygenius fans, many of whom had traveled across the state or further for the show. I understand that the venue could not control the weather, but the staff had full control of how they handled the crowd and the safety of everyone involved, and I think they failed big time in that regard. Yelling at the entire crowd of overheated, confused, disorganized fans through a megaphone about how it was our fault they didn't consider how to keep us feeling safe and content through the storm was not the right approach to a situation like this. Again, I understand it was an unforeseen circumstance, and no individual person could have all of the answers in the stress of a situation like this one, but it felt like there was absolutely no direction anywhere for how to manage the crowd. They left one very rude and angry woman with a megaphone and a chair to stand on, and she just stood there and yelled into the crowd about how she didn't understand why people were so riled up with anxiety or anger. They essentially told us it would be a free-for-all to get our spots in line back since they did not think to keep us sectioned or organized when we were getting inside.

The time in the storm shelter was awful. There were people crying and having panic attacks while that woman just screamed, pointing the blame at the crowd of people instead of taking any kind of responsibility for the ways the venue failed to keep us organized. I know at least half of my sisters cried (myself included) out of frustration and disappointment about how our day was playing out, and I wish the venue had considered the people they were hosting when they failed to organize the crowds through the storm shelter itself. Being indoors kept us safe from the storm, but it just turned the single-file lines of fans into an angry mob of people inside the shelter. The lack of organization and communication there made it feel very unsafe for me and my sisters, and I was genuinely worried for the safety and well-being of the people around me, especially considering a portion of the crowd was made up of young girls and teenagers.

They released the crowd in a messy, crazy way once, then rounded us all back up to go back into the storm shelter within ten minutes of the release. This time around, people were angrier and smarter, trying to push closer to the exit so they would be among the first let back out, and people were getting crushed and stampeded in the crowd while we waited for the next green light to go back outside. I honestly couldn't even be too mad with the people around me in that situation because I was trying to get closer to the door as well, but the woman with the megaphone was making everything worse. I initially tried to sympathize with her, as I assume holding a position of power in that kind of scenario would be stressful and difficult, but her lack of kindness and care for the general crowd of the room turned off any kind of grace I may have otherwise had for her. She yelled at the crowd, calling us animals, and yelled at my younger sisters directly with her megaphone for trying to hold hands as people began to be let back out the doors. If you know me at all, you know I am not a confrontational person in the least bit, but her blatant disregard for the safety of my sisters was the final straw for me. She was angry at Bryna for trying to make sure Elli did not get lost in the angry mob of people that she created by not taking charge in a way that would ensure their safety. So yes, I did tell her off, which I had no intention of doing when I left my house nearly 15 hours before that moment, but I just made it clear that they were sisters, Elli was young, and we needed to stick together in the crowd. She kept her megaphone down until we were all out the door (woohoo), and I had several mothers in the line come up and pat me on the back for standing up for them, which I both appreciated and laughed about after the fact.

We wound up further than we would have been if we had been kept in ordered lines. However, the view was still decent enough, and I think we were all just relieved that the show hadn't been canceled. Barteese Strange did not go on (which wound up being alright because we saw him at RE:SET the next day), and Boygenius cut three of mine and Elli's favorite songs off of their setlist in order to finish the show in time with Houston's city curfew for events like that.

HOWEVER, even after all of the turmoil of the day, Boygenius were perfect. Their actual performance was everything I could have hoped for and more. They kept high spirits (at least appropriately high for the devastating lineup of songs they had on the setlist) and thanked the crowd several times for waiting through the heat and the rain for their set. Through it all, I think my sisters could push through all of the bad that piled up throughout the day because we knew we had the chance to do it all over again the next day.

The show finished, we battled all of the boyfriends of bisexuals driving mom cars to exit the oversold parking lot, and we drove back home through the night.

June 9th, 2023

We let ourselves sleep in. Each of us had some friends that were really camping out for this show, but we mutually decided when we got home at 4 a.m. that we were not going to try to join them. I think I woke up at noon before this show (lol), but that still gave me plenty of time to get some things together and eat a big meal before we headed out to Grand Prairie. The line was insanely long. This show was not just for Boygenius, though. It was day one of a three-day festival with a bunch of different artists, so a lot of the crowd was there for Clairo, Dijon, and/or Barteese Strange, and another large portion of the crowd was there because they had three-day passes. We bought a ticket for only Friday with the intention of just seeing Boygenius before their Houston date was announced, and we deemed Clairo and Dijon as bonuses. I had not heard much of Barteese Strange before this couple of days, but Boygenius raved about him on stage in Houston, and I really liked his set's vibe. I also appreciated that each artist got to play a longer, fuller-length setlist than most "opening" acts typically do, especially because I was excited to see Dijon and I knew my sisters were excited about Clairo.

Dijon was amazing. One of my coworkers introduced me to him over Christmas break, and I had not yet gone back to relisten to a lot of the music I "discovered" then, but his live performance really pushed me back into it. I loved his stage setup and that the big screens' camera had a bird's eye view of his band. Several of his band members switched instruments out or were playing a few instruments at once, and the view from above their setup made it super interesting to watch. His music is so good and I have listened to the album several times since seeing him. My sisters and I are hooked on him.

I listened to a lot of Clairo during the era of COVID quarantining, but I kind of fell off of that when her more recent album came out. Regardless, she was lovely, her stage presence was so mellow and sweet, and she put on a great performance. I liked her set because it was evident that she had chosen to play songs she loves to perform, and I loved seeing her enjoy herself on stage like that. I know my sisters were super excited to see her, most of us for the first time, and she met all of our expectations. I would definitely see her again!

The long-awaited Boygenius set was perfection. Our view this time was not nearly as good because we arrived shortly before the doors opened, but the set was so fun. I felt like the boys were in a much better mood for this show than they had been in Houston, which makes a lot of sense because I felt the same way, and it was so cool to see artists I have loved for years play such a big stage together. I've seen all three of them individually play pretty small venues with small crowds, and it was amazing to see them headlining something like this together. They truly do look so happy when they are all together, and their love for one another is radiant through both the music and their energy on stage. They played their full set, which included the "big three" as their encore songs, which was one of the things I was most looking forward to. They each have songs on their latest albums that feature vocals and harmonies from the other two members, and all three of those songs have been very special favorites to me for as long as they've been released. I have seen each member perform their song out of this little trilogy at their own headlining show, but it was incredibly special to see them do these songs together. They cut 2/3 of them off of the Houston setlist for time's sake, so I was incredibly thankful to have the chance to see them do all three at RE:SET.

I think the crowd was generally better at the Boygenius show, but that is probably because many people in the RE:SET crowd paid to see other artists throughout the weekend and stuck around through the Boygenius set. I do believe seeing artists at their own concerts is often a better experience than seeing them at a festival solely because of the crowd, and I think this was one of those cases for me. I have seen RE:SET getting a lot of backlash for how it was managed this year, but I thought it was worth my money to see the artists I wanted to see all in one go. It was exponentially (and almost miserably) hot, and the concert being outdoors was not ideal for Texas in June, but the lineup was worth the time and money for me.

Final (Personal) Thoughts about The Boys

Honestly, I would have done just about anything for Boygenius. Driven all night, driven through the early hours of the morning, suffered through a few hours in a humid storm shelter with crazy women on chairs with megaphones in my least favorite Texas city, developed a massive heat rash that swelled my ankle up twice its regular size... I'd do it all again and again.

I have struggled a lot throughout the years with finding ways to accept myself for thinking and feeling in ways that are outside the conventional. I struggle with seeing myself through the right lenses, and I have learned to figure myself out by using media as a mode of expression. This has obviously been prevalent for me in writing, but I have found I love to connect with other people's written experiences just as much as I love to write about my own. I used to think it was impossible for someone else to feel the same way I do, about hardly anything, because I thought emotions were too vast and complex to be pinned down into something as small as a song. It wasn't until my later teenage years that I began to find and really appreciate artists who were able to capture the human experience by dissecting specific scenarios in a universal way, and I think each member of Boygenius is notorious for their ways of emotional expression in their music. Discussions centered around personal struggles with mental health often just belittle or minimize the credibility of the person who is struggling because of the stigma around mental illness in society. This scares a lot of artists, writers, and creators away from being vulnerable in their modes of expression, and I think Boygenius have gained a lot of recent attention for being so raw with their writing. I also feel that queer representation in media is often brushed over as nothing special if it is not trending on Tiktok or Twitter or wherever else, but Boygenius have gained that credibility simply through the strength in their writing and ability to express the queer experience from three unique perspectives, which is something worth talking about in itself. I have not felt as seen and well-represented with nearly any other group of songwriters, and I think the versatility of their joint vulnerability is primarily what has brought them their recent fame.

Even among just my sisters, it is rare for all four of us to have the same experiences and relate to the same songs. We each have a "designated member" of the band that we relate to the most (mine being Julien, Bryna's being Lucy, and Elli and Addi share Phoebe, in case you were wondering) because although we all love all three members, we each have such particular taste and we look for different things in emotional songs. I think the record specifically is exceptional because of its capability to reach so many people in only 12 songs. It showcases each individual's songwriting skills and the things they managed to accomplish by coming together, which is incredible both musically and intellectually. I think I've made it pretty clear that live music touches me in a special way each time I attend a show, and these two were nothing short of perfection in that regard.

I left this weekend "peopled out," as my family would say, meaning I am an introvert who spent too much time out in the world without any time to myself. My sisters are super close. Our lives have a lot of (very intentional) overlap because they are some of my favorite people to do anything with, so this was an extremely rewarding experience to share with the three of them. I have loved getting back into the live music scene with my built-in best friends over the course of the past few years.